Below is a message my manager once sent me after working hours, because there was something urgent that needed to be addressed. She had been in meetings all day.
“Sorry, it’s late.” A simple apology for reaching out beyond working hours.
I remember when the company held a Great Place To Work celebration. It was my first time coordinating such an event, so I was quite nervous. That morning, I happened to meet my manager in the elevator. He asked if everything was okay, and I admitted that I was a bit stressed. He simply said, “think positively” and “take it easy.” Exactly those words.
After the event, while I was eating with everyone, he came over, shook my hand, and said thank you for organizing it. Very often, I still receive messages saying “Thank you” from C-level leaders.
Back when I worked in a Japanese-influenced environment, people constantly said “Arigatou” or apologized with “Gomen” and “Sumimasen.” It was so frequent that it almost felt like a formality — even a bit performative at times.
But after experiencing environments where feedback from managers could be “???!!!”, with no apologies or thanks because everything was taken for granted, those small gestures suddenly became something worth appreciating.
Of course, work is a responsibility.
But a simple “thank you” or “sorry” — things that cost nothing — can say a lot about a person, and make others feel acknowledged and respected. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to do that.
Respect does not come from something as big as a title or position.
It comes from the smallest ways we treat each other, every single day.
I’ll end this piece with a line I really like: Titles don’t make leaders. Actions do.
By Mai Do Hong Phuc